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Friday, June 03, 2005



heh.hais...feeling very sad this few days..guess this is the worst week i ever had. its really very difficult for me to describe..the kind of feeling i used to have in the past, its coming back. and it's definately not a good thing. i dont feel like staying at home, grandma nag non-stop, asking me to do this and that. hais..oftenly i seek comfort from the one closest to me, but imagine..he hurt me without realising it?the pain...that would leave a permanent scar in my heart. nothing can really cheer me up. i wanna spend more time with him, but i really does not have the chance. but everything that i have gone through, make me learn more about life. the different characters people have. though he is going malaysia for only 2 days, i know that i'll feel worst. maybe no one can understand. the gap between me and him, it's getting wider. had enough, but what can i do? the weird and the worst ideas lingered on my mind for quite some time already. can all this pain just go away?i gotta do something. haloe? y cant i be a happier person? somethings are really hard to explain u see...perhaps mine is not the worst case ya?but..alright.im just weak. ( if you doesnt have the mood to listen to craps.just end here.LOL.its all craps below c:)

alright. wanna know how many people wanna live your life to the fullest, to go beyond your physical and mental limits, to try things out and have high ambitions? many newspaper or magazine feature (extra)ordinary people accomplishing extraordinary feats. just like the straits time today, 'paraplegic william tan, 10 marathons 7 continents 70 days.' heh. we may stand up and clap for them, envy them and stuffs, thinking that you cant do similar things. well, if you have the courage, determination and the gut to do it, y not try? you know, you wouldnt know anything unless you try! some change the lifes of their close ones or even strangers, there are things that you do will influence your surrounding people, your actions and thinking. when i think of it, it really scare me if i leave without doing the things i want. some live their life like there's no tml, and that is something i wish i would do! sometimes i wish i wasnt one of the billions of the people in this globe, having the same life every other one is leading. diaoz~ wanna travel around the world! but no $$...-_-! hais..i talk so much yet i myself is not doing anything.ok shall stop here. hmm..take care!

=) 11:15 AM