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Saturday, February 27, 2010



wait. a. minute.


21 years old is when you want to go traveling alone. as the ups and downs of life gets the better of you, you just want to unwind, stop for a few second and appreciate the gift nature haven given to us. im sadden by the things people said/or not, do/or not. its a waste you allow time to past without enjoying the goodness of life.

i know im not. but i do feel lonely. its ok because i can some time to reflect on myself. but inevitably, my mind will run wild and think of things that i shouldnt. i want to pick myself up. i want to be happy because its simply a sin to be sad. i want to feel carefree. i spent so many days asking my hands and teeth to unclench itself. when stress level is so high, how easy it was for me to think of taking the entire packet of panadol. simply because my headache is so killing me.

you know, having suicidal thought at age 11 is crazy. this feeling is definitely back. i cant seem to find the source of problem. or, was it simply too many?

sometimes, i think i am sinking into depression. i cant take it. i cant take the negativity of life. its too .. bad for health, bad for my mental health.


when that time comes. do not stand in front of my grave and weep.

=) 4:01 PM